6.29.2025

Fever Beach, Hiaasen - B +

           Dale Figgo is the founder of the American Strokers for Liberty (he was kicked out of the Proud Boys for excessive self-abuse). He is unpopular with the right wing for smearing dog shit on a statue of a Confederate general on Jan. 6th because he mistook it for US Grant. Back in Florida, he gins up a scam with a crooked congressman to help him fund the Strokers. Said congressman's primary legislative activity is trying to prevent the woke left from manufacturing 8 balls in the colors of the pride rainbow.  Rep. Clure Boyette found Dale to help provide 'poll watching' duty in the one portion of his district he consistently lost, but Dale has other ambitions.  He leads the Strokers to Key West intent on shutting down a drag queen show with a placard reading God Hates Homoz, but the LGBTQ crowd whupped them good. Featured on Steve Bannon's podcast the next day, the Strokers are soon right-wing heroes. They are ready for election day, and drove to Boyette's district for their grand performance to assure that the House remains in the hands of those who believe in God, and country, and hate Jews, immigrants, Blacks, libtards, fags, lesbos, and anyone who doesn't fit in their vision of right wing white America. The Strokers go to the assisted living facility that houses a voting site at the center of the offending district on election day. When one of the Strokers asks the opposition  candidate for an ID, a video was sooon on GMA and all over the internet. The consequence is an outpouring of sympathy and votes for Boyette's opponent, a twice divorced schoolteacher. The Strokers continue to question/abuse/insult enough voters to garner widespread attention for their idiocy and incompetence. Boyette loses, and the losers are scattered to the winds. Hiaasen's skewering of Floridians, particularly the right wingnuts is one of life's joys.

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